Dealing with grief

Posted in Uncategorized on June 11, 2013 by abraxus

My Father is not expected to be with us much longer. Being the analytical person I am I find myself trying to sort out my feelings on this from moment to moment with little success.

My Mother has found her peace with it and for that I will always be thankful. We are not an emotionally open Family my Mother and I so of course when either of us does crack it is explosive.

We almost never both crack at the same time but this was an exception and it was cathartic and ugly and raw but it was needed.

My Father was in agony and it broke me inside. My Father is the classic “Show no pain, shed no tear” type so for him to clutch my hand in the Hospital and choke out “I’m in Hell” destroyed me.

I’ll likely never recover fully from that. Right now he is finally resting peacefully which I am told is the best that can be hoped for. They don’t know how long he has so now my life is lived in fear of the phonecall we will get eventually.

We said our goodbyes and now I move from anger to sadness to fear in a nearly continuous cycle. He wouldn’t want this for me but I can’t help it. He’s my Father and I still need him.

I love you Dad.


X-Files on now!

Posted in Movies, Noteworthy with tags , , on October 5, 2011 by abraxus

Very nice to finally get something good on the Canadian version for once. X-Files holds up amazingly well so far. Will enjoy watching it again!

Sad to hear of the passing of Steve Jobs earlier tonight. Visionaries are hard to come by.

Ah Android how I love thee

Posted in Uncategorized on October 4, 2011 by abraxus

Today I picked up the Droid app for my HTC and yes Virginia it IS made of win. Now on to the usual update: Life is good right now. Got promoted at work to Kitchen Manager finally, complete with a Teeny raise..I hope for more later.

Bills are getting paid still so no trouble there thankfully. Personal life not to shabby general happiness abounds. Tired though, could use some alone time.

Let’s see if I can manage to update more often with this new App!

Prince of Persia

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on May 31, 2010 by abraxus

So…was this movie supposed to suck as much as it did? I sort of feel like Ashton should be hopping out of a bush to say “Punk’d Ya!” any minute now. Seriously, that movie needed far more editing for trimming the fat off…most of it coming from Alfred Molina. An Actor I normally enjoy watching, he had an entertaining comic relief element to his character but it was allowed to go on about 15 minutes longer than it needed to.

Also Sir Ben Kingsley whom I am ordinarily a huge fan of..needs to stay away from Fantasy movies. He has no place in the fantastical setting whatsoever. In that genre his looks are so stereotypically ‘bad guy’ that it is no shock or mystery whatsoever that he is a villain.

One Star out of Five for Prince of Persia.

Every so often…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on April 15, 2010 by abraxus

I am just glad that this Blog is here. I am certainly among the masses of the Internet in that I started it, ran with it for a while and then left it to its own devices for extended periods of time. This does not change the fact that the level of catharsis I receive when I DO update it is exceptional to say the least.

Right now life is good on the whole. Bills are being paid on time, job is stable, car is back in shape post accident and I have enough things to keep me busy well into the significant future.

This morning I learned an important lesson about the Internet and that is: “RSS Feeds can not be trusted.” I have a Bar of the Blogs I follow with dedication much like many of us do I am sure. I check them usually 2-3 times a day time permitting and read/comment along where I have something worthwhile to add.

This morning it occurred to me that a few of my fellow Bloggers had not updated in a while so out of curiosity I stopped by the Links themselves and what do you think I found my friends?

That’s right…the RSS feed was not updating properly and I have/had missing out on almost a Month (in some cases multiple) of Updates! So I had a minor rage moment about that and have since spent the wee small hours of the morning getting privately caught up on the comings and goings of many of my Friends.

As for the news, let’s wander a minute shall we?

Weather – Improving, snow almost gone, Temps above freezing
Reading – Black Library like a voracious hound
Writing – Not so much these days. Muse = Dear John’d me
Personal – Getting better daily
Games – Final Fantasy vicariously through Chris, 40k always
Artistic – Painting Heroic 28mm 40k Figures, much fun
Physical – Tennis Elbow sucks!
Movies – Do they still make them? The good ones I mean…

In closing, I miss you Shelel. *squeezes&lippresses*

About last night

Posted in Uncategorized on January 12, 2010 by abraxus

At approx. 10 P.M. last night, on the way home from Edmonton I was involved in the aftermath of what I think might have been a Fatal car accident between a Mini-Van and a Semi. I’m grateful that Chris and I were not hurt and that the only damage seems to be cosmetic to our car…but beyond that I think it’s safe to say I am fucked up.

We hit what I think might have been the Mini-Vans front bumper and it got up under the engine, by the time I stopped the car on the side of the road we were about 150′ past the accident. It was sub-zero and the wind was up pretty good so it got damn cold when we left the car to check on the others involved.

Walking back down the road we came across a man with a flashlight, checked in on what had happened and learned that the Mini-Van had apparently crossed the Center line and impacted the Semi.

When we approached the Mini-Van the Paramedics were already arriving, thankfully we were not far from Smoky Lake. Chris saw something in the dark and said it might be a person. She was right. I think it was the driver..but the front of the Mini-Van was just gone.

I’m not sure if he lived, the Parameds asked everyone to return to their vehicles but the Ambulance never left the scene after they took the man to it nor did they stay in the Ambulance…I don’t think that was a good sign.

I guess I’m in a bit of shock still even now. The R.C.M.P. came by the car after the fact and took our information then sent us on our way when they determined the car was drivable.

My Insurance Co. wanted all sorts of information that I couldn’t give them so I have to wait for the Police Report to come in.

Heh I just got a call back from them, apparently I am at fault here because I struck a fixed object on the road. So it’s going to be a $250 Deductible and of course my Insurance will now go up.

A day in the life

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on November 24, 2009 by abraxus

Greetings my once and future readers! Since our last episode a few new things have happened out here in my neck of the Woods. Notable among them was a fairly lackluster October, even the annual festival of beggar children demanding candy from strangers was not as much fun as it usually is. I blame the fact that I had to work. Still I did see some lovely effort put forth on behalf of my co-workers when it came to costuming.

It has now been eleven years since I married my wife as we celebrated the Anniversary just a few days ago with a ritual trip into the big city for some shopping and other fun.

While we were there we took in the new Twilight Series movie New Moon. As much as I had no problem with the first of the movies I have to say this one felt much more like the book did to me and my wife. I could have done without the 17 minutes of previews that came before it though. As much as I like to see what is coming soon I don’t think I need to see EVERYTHING that is coming soon.

I am still in the process of reading the Warhammer 40k Series `The Horus Heresy`and I must say it is supremely interesting to me even 8 books in.

I’ve mostly finished the games I was playing when last I posted, and I did change my mind about the Kingdom Hearts game. It lost all appeal for me rather quickly and I have since consigned it to the bin of “Things to trade in to get other things” when I go to the Game Store next.

Just last evening I downloaded a Demo in my eternal search for something fun to play in the vein of ‘Diablo’ until Diablo 3 comes out of course. This most recent contender is called Torchlight which is a product of Perfect World Entertainment and Runic studios as well. I have previously played Perfect World (for which the company is named) so I thought it might be fun and indeed it was. My only beef with the demo is that you have 120 minutes of time and that is it. I would rather they allow me to play 5 levels of the game or something similar than have my gameplay yanked out from under me unceremoniously but alas. I may buy the game though, it is only 19.95 US and it was quite fun for the time I was able to play. Created in large part by some former Blizzard North employees from back in the days of Diablo I & II. Anyone looking for something in that genre can rest assured that Torchlight will not let you down.

I’ll sign off for now, I could talk more but this post has gotten long enough as it is. Perhaps I will update again in a few days since I am rather enjoying sitting here on the couch with the laptop.